


When Stars Realign

by lousbutterfly



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, References to Depression, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lousbutterfly/pseuds/lousbutterfly
Summary: Young Harry lives in Holmes Chapel England with his parents and older sister. He's very pleased when he notices a new boy next door and they immediately become close. Until the boy leaves without a goodbye and Harry has no idea why."Where did you get that?"
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thank you for reading my story! 
> 
> Just want to remind you this story deals with some mental health topics and other things like homophobia, self harm/self destruction and childhood trauma. 
> 
> Happy reading!

It was all he heard. 

The angry hum of his parents downstairs. He heard it over the soft music from the light beside his bed, and over his sisters tv in the next room over. Even his own thoughts were drown out by the noise. 

Feet hit the floor, moving towards the window. He sat on the window cushion and swung his legs up, laying on it, letting it hold him. 

The young boy looked out the big window, staring up at the dark sky. Stars filled the entirety of the sky, shining so brightly it filled the child with hope.

Even in the darkest of places there was a light. 

No matter how dark things got there'd always be those stars the light it back up.

He wondered where his stars were.


	2. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sun is irresistible to the moon  
> chasing it every night and everyday  
> in hopes it’ll catch up  
> hidden from the others gaze  
> where has the sun gone

Small thuds filled the stairwell as the four-year-old made his way down the stairs. The rug leaving a faint burn on the fronts of his pantless thighs while he laid on his stomach, sliding down each step and catching himself on his yellow socked feet. 

With a small grunt, he dropped onto the floor and stood up straight. He waddled down the hallway following his mom's voice, appearing in the doorway in his thin white t-shirt hanging down to his thighs covering his Thomas the train underwear, topped off with of course his yellow socks. 

His mother, Anne, continued speaking to his older sister, neither they nor his father had noticed the boy. Cold tile met his feet as he walked over to the table, pulling a chair out for himself, his family looking over as the chair slid against the floor. 

"Because Gemma, ice cream isn't a good start for the day." His mother spoke, placing a slice of toast on a plate and setting it in front of Harry, everyone else's plates looked similar only holding two pieces instead of one and topped with jams and jelly, Harry didn't like jam or jelly. 

"But it's yummy mommy," Gemma argued back, crossing her arms and slouching back in her chair. 

"And it will be just as yummy tonight after dinner, not for breakfast. Harry dear, would you like milk or orange juice?" She asked as she stood in front of the fridge.

"Orange juice please!" Harry responded. The glass was set next to his plate and his mom stood beside him for a second, pushing her fingers through his thick curly brown hair, Harry loving the comfort and leaning into her hand.

"Right, I've got to go." Harry's dad, Des, spoke up, standing with his dish and bringing it to the sink. He came to Gemma's seat and hugged her, leaving a kiss on her forehead. After giving Harry the same and ruffling his hair, Des picked up his jacket and left with a simple, "goodbye." 

Anne sighed causing the two children to look up, she immediately began clearing the table and humming a tune distracting from the obvious tension. Harry knew the song anywhere and let out a sigh himself, looking down at the table. 

Noticing the thick atmosphere Gemma spoke. "Hey, Harry?" The boy lifted his gaze to watch his sister. Gemma pulled her tall glass of milk closer to herself and brought the straw into her mouth, gently blowing air into it. Harry giggled as the cup filled with bubbles inching closer and closer to the top until she pulled away. Smiling at the boy's mood being lifted she used her napkin to wipe away the milk on the table. 

"Mommy, can we go to the park today?" She asked, taking a sip from her glass. 

Anne sighed again, hesitating for a few seconds. "Mommy has to run an errand today, alright? Maybe tomorrow. Gemma think you can get you and Harry ready for me? Got a call to make first." 

Quickly she cleared the table of the dishes and placed them in the sink to be cleaned later. "Why can't we go to the park while you go?" The girl spoke while Anne grabbed Harry's napkin and wiped his face clean for him before pulling his chair out and helping him down.

"Because I am not leaving a ten year old and a four year old alone at the park, Gemma. Stop arguing and go please." The two kids frowned again and Harry looked towards his sister as she came around to his side, gently grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards the stairs. Slowly they climbed, careful not to make any noise. 

"How about this one?" Gemma held up one of Harry's shirts, a dark blue one similar to the grey and white one she pulled before to which he also shook his head. 

They were in the boy's room. It was medium-sized with light yellow walls. A twin bed with light turquoise bedding sat on the wall to the right of the door, the headboard pushed against the wall across from the entrance, he still preferred to sleep on the window seat on the same wall to the left of his white nightstand. 

Harry was sat on the chair of his white desk just to the right of his door, Gemma stood in front of the closet on the left wall. "Okay, do you see one you like then?" The shorter rose to his feet and stepped up to the closet to scan his tops. A smile landing on his face as he reached for one.

"This one?" He whispered to Gemma, holding up a light periwinkle long-sleeved shirt. He fiddled with the sleeves as Gemma took a look. 

"Good choice!" She exclaimed and Harry's smile grew. It was one of his favorite shirts, in one of his favorite colors. That wasn't even the best part, his absolute favorite part of the shirt was the small daisy stitched into the sleeve near his wrist. "And pants?" He glanced back to the closet, spotting his favorite pair of overalls and sharply pointed to the light wash denim. Gemma pulled them out and held both items in front of Harry, smiling. "Perfect, let's get you dressed." 

His green eyes stared back at himself when Gemma pushed him in front of the full-length mirror to examine his outfit. The purple-blue shirt was big on his small frame, the sleeves passing his fingertips and the sides bunched into the pair of overalls. Outfit topped off with white socks and black shoes, Gemma also fixing his thick curls and styling them neatly. 

Once satisfied she grabbed his favorite teddy bear, one their father had brought back from a business trip, and took his smaller hand in hers, leading him out of his pale yellow room and into her cream colored one. 

This room was similar, just barely bigger. The bed was center on the wall across from the doorway, beige bedding with a few white throw pillows and a fluffy white throw blanket at the foot. She picked Harry up under his arms and plopped him onto the edge of her bed, setting the bear on her desk, and turned to her closet. 

"Which one do you think?" Gemma asked after a few minutes. In her right hand, she held up a white half sleeve dress with thin black vertical stripes and a black collar. Her left held a dark grey pleated skirt, high waisted that sat a few inches above her knees. After thinking for a few seconds Harry pointed to the skirt with a wide smile, dimples exposing themselves. Gemma returned the smile and hung the dress back up, using the same hand to pick up the bear and hand it off to Harry while she changed. 

When Harry lifted his gaze back up from his bear Gemma had the skirt on, a black long-sleeved shirt tucked in. Her feet were slid into small black ankle boots, tucked underneath her as she sat on her desk chair, pulling her hair into braids. The four year old focused on the way she intertwined the sections of brunette hair, the way she's done to his long locks many times as well. On her neck laid a thin chain with a paper airplane charm at the bottom, she wore it most days. Harry's eyes were drawn to it, then to the few thin chains with varying charms on her wrist.

"Gems..." She turned to see the boy reaching out with small hands towards her wrist, grabbing lightly at the air from his spot on the bed. Confusion swept across her face until she understood what he wanted and let out a soft ooh sound. Boots hit the floor as she walked until she stood in front of him on the bed. 

Quickly she lifted his small hand in his and still clutching it transferred a bracelet from her wrist to his where it sat, much bigger on the smaller arm. He giggled softly and looked closely at the teddy bear charm, hugging it to his chest. 

A shout erupted from downstairs. "Gemma! Harry! We've got to go!" Their mother screamed and both kids jumped. Gemma lifted her brother back onto the floor and took his left hand, the right still clasping onto the bear, quickly leading him out and down the stairs where their mother was waiting. Anne helped Harry into his seat and buckled him, his sister hopping in on the other side and humming to herself. 

Anne hurriedly brought them all into the big building. She'd tried forcing Harry to leave his bear in the car but it had only made him scream and cry and eventually she gave in. The doors were big, far taller than the small boy, heavy too. Harry thought his sister was one of the strongest people he knows and even she couldn't push it open, they shut with a thundering sound behind them. 

One hand held the bear tightly to his chest as he looked at the stressed faces of the adults surrounding the room, the other tightly held onto his mommy's hand. She spoke to the lady at the desk, Harry couldn't see over it, and she spoke with words he didn't understand. 

Instead, he stood there counting the vertical lines of the wood desk in front of his face. He'd reached 11 before he was being pulled by his mom again. 

Their mother led the three of them down a wide hallway with high windows, walking faster than Harry thought he could. They passed so many doors, some normal sized and some just as big and heavy looking as the front doors. 

After what felt like forever to Harry they stopped in front of another set of big doors. Anne pushed them open and pulled them through, doors shutting heavy, she spoke to another desk lady. Harry could at least see over this desk, still couldn't understand what they were talking about. 

Something about problems? what problems? he didn't know. He noticed how somber the people looked, matching the dull white walls and sad plastic chairs outside of more doors unsurprisingly. 

Finally, she led them to two chairs beside a smaller door. The children sat down and their mother crouched before them. "Mommy will be right back alright? Don't move." She kissed both their heads and disappeared behind the door. 

Harry was glad he brought his bear, he didn't like sitting around people he didn't know without his mommy. The only word that floating through his head as he silently thought was problem.

It felt like hours before the door opened again and their mommy appeared, looking even gloomier than when she went in. A small packet of papers sat in her hands and she folded them up, placing them in her purse. 

Harry slid off his chair hurried to her. "Mommy." He mumbled and reached up towards her, grabbing at the end of her shirt. She reached down and pulled him up, settling him on her hip and he hugged her close, laying his head on her shoulder. 

"Oh, baby... come on, let's go babes." One arm wrapped around the boy's back, the other resting on his arm, rubbing soft circles through his purple shirt. Just as silently as they walked in, they walked out, not stopping to talk to the desk lady this time. 

"No, you're doing it wrong!" The brunette girl screamed at the smaller boy who in turn shrieked and began crying. 

They had been playing hopscotch, the game Gemma had just learned from her friend, or Gemma was trying to play and Harry didn't understand. He had instead just leaped as far as he could, a couple of inches forward, and caught himself on his hands before falling back on his bum. Chalk clinging to his overalls as he sat. There he stayed crying as the girl angrily stomped her foot, even madder as Harry now sat on the numbers blocking her path. 

Hearing the boy's cries Anne set down her book and fast walked off the porch to the two. "What's happened? Harry are you alright?" She checked him over for injury and Gemma stomped again.

"He's not hurt he's just crying because I said he's playing wrong." She whined and crossed her arms after picking her pink piece of chalk up. 

"Gemma, he's only four he doesn't know how to play. It's not his fault. Let's go, you two need to wash up for dinner." Anne picked up the still crying boy, hushing him softly while Gemma angrily walked behind them.

Giggles filled the living room as Gemma twirled Harry in circles. She'd felt bad for making the boy cry and decided to make it up for him by playing with him after dinner. He'd asked her to be a ballerina and she happily agreed to dance with him. 

The three of them, Harry Gemma and Teeny, got all dressed up and went up to Gemma's room. All taking seats around the table on the other side of her bed. They brought out her white teacup set and Gemma carefully poured each party guest a cup of tea, reminding Teeny it was hot so he wouldn't burn himself like last time. Laughter filled the room while Gemma placed her pink feathered boa around Harry's neck, grabbing a fancy hat for herself. 

The door opened and their mother stood in the doorway, a laundry basket on her hip. "Where was my tea party invite?" She asked with a mock hurt expression on her face, one hand on her chest in shock. 

"Sorry mummy, last time you hogged all the tea!" The young girl shrieked trying to hide her laughter. 

"Join us!" Harry spoke, scooting his chair over.

Anne set the basket on the ground beside the bed and walked over to the table. She grabbed the third chair and pushed it over to the spot Harry had freed up, sitting down beside him.

"Want a cupcake?" The curly boy asked, bringing the tray towards his mother. Harry always brought the cupcakes to their tea parties. 

"Don't mind if I do!" She reached towards the plastic pan and grabbed at the air there, bringing it towards her mouth. 

"Mommy you left the paper on!" Gemma laughed along with Harry. 

They laughed together for nearly an hour, then it was time for Harry to go to sleep. 

His mother tucked him into bed and gave him one last hug and kiss, turning on his nightlight and gently shutting the door. 

Harry waited a few minutes until his mother was in her room. Then he hopped off the bed and dragged himself and his blanket to the window. 

He said goodnight to Teeny and pulled the blanket tighter around them, counting stars until he drifted off. 

At least 32 stars lit up the sky.

Yet not a single star in Harry's life.


	3. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brighter than any star  
> shinier than any gem  
> so intense i cannot see anything else  
> only your eyes  
> hear only your laugh  
> my star

The wind was all he could focus on. It swept past his face, tossing his curls around as it whispered to him. The trees screaming at him while he watched them sway side to side. 

A faint creaking laid just beneath the air. Each time the swing flew back and forth, the screech grew louder. 

Harry's focus shifted towards the sky. No wind, no creaking chains. Just a soft blue with fluffy clouds slowly cruising across the void. So peaceful. 

He looked back down when he heard Gemma whine. "Are you done yet?" She'd been pushing him on the swing, he didn't know how to do it himself. 

"Okay, slow down!" he called back over the noise. Gemma stopped pushing, letting it slow on his own before eventually grabbing onto the chains to halt it completely. Harry slid off onto the wood chips, brushing back his curls that had been messed up.

The park was mostly empty. Only a couple of teenagers were on the basketball court, and a dad was spinning his son on the roundabout. 

Gemma pulled him towards the slide. She told him to go up first and he quickly climbed the metal stairs.

From the top, he could see the father and son again. The dad holding onto him while he went across the monkey bars. At the end of the bar, they both shouted from joy and he hugged him before setting him down, running off to another structure.

He stared in a bit of confusion. Des had never taken him and Gemma to the park. The man had never spun them on the roundabout or carried them across the monkey bars. He'd never hung out with them very much. The boy couldn't help but feel sad.

"Hurry up!" His sister's voice brought him back from staring at the two. Harry looked back and saw Gemma impatiently waiting on the stairs. The static of the solid plastic tickled him, shocking him as he slipped down the slide, giggling the entire time. 

The two children were making their way back towards their mother. Closer to the pair Harry had been watching the whole time. The father helped the boy put on his helmet, and they rode off together on their bikes. 

"Come on, Harry!" Anne yelled, waving him over. 

They both couldn't wait to get home, just in time for their favorite show.

"Dinner!" Anne called out and the two happily ran to the dining room, their dad following behind. "Alright, we've got chicken, potatoes, and peas." She said with a smile. They sat around the table eating, Gemma and Harry chatting excitedly. Soon, they started flicking peas at each other. 

"Stop that," Des warned them. Another pea flew. "I said stop that!" He said louder, gripping onto Harry's hand that had launched the food. Looking down at the tiny arm in his hand he noticed the shiny chain. "What's this." Gemma and Anne stopped to watch their interaction. 

"Teddy bear," Harry spoke timidly, trying to pull his hand away, no use. 

"And where the hell did you get this?" Des asked louder and Anne tried to interject but he simply dismissed her.

"Gems..." Harry trailed off, more scared now. Des grabbed onto the band and pulled it off his arm, Harry trying to grab it back and failing, slouching back in his chair.

"Bracelets aren't for you." He told the young boy rudely and roughly stood from his chair, stomping down the hallway. 

"Desmond!" Anne shrieked and quickly followed him. Gemma looked back to Harry who was silently crying, holding his wrist where the bracelet once sat. Quietly muttering through his tears. 

The two laid in Harry's bed while Gemma hummed Harry's favorite tune in his ear, the two cuddling up to each other as close as possible. She hummed next to his ear and ran her fingers through his hair, trying to distract from the shouting downstairs. 

"It's just a bracelet!"

"For girls!"

"If he wants to wear it just let him!" 

"My son will not wear something made for girls!" 

"He's our son! It's just a silly little chain!"

Gemma hushed him louder. It continued for long after the two kids fell asleep, hugging each other so tightly. 

When Harry woke up Gemma was no longer in his bed. The lights were still on, he hated the dark, especially when there was fighting. He hadn't changed from his outfit yesterday, the denim now itching his legs and the sleeves making him sweat. Retrieving a basic grey t-shirt and black sweats he quickly changed, tossing yesterday's clothes in his hamper.

After going to use the toilet and brushing his teeth, he tiredly trudged to his big sister's door, giving it two small taps. The same bear was tightly gripped in his other hand, he took it almost everywhere.

"Come in!" He heard Gemma through the door and pushed the door open. She sat on her floor painting her nails a light pink, some artist Harry didn't know played softly from her iPod. "What's up Harry?" Speaking without lifting her gaze from where she was painting.

"Can I have another bear? Promise won't let Daddy get it again." He pleaded, walking towards where she sat and ungracefully falling to the floor on his bottom. 

"You won't remember and he'll see it, Harry. Don't even know where he put the other one, and it was one of my favorites." She huffed out, twisting the top back onto the polish. 

Harry set there for a moment. All he wanted was the shiny cord around his arm. "Can you put one on Teeny?" He held up the bear in his lap, gesturing to its arm. "He won't find it there. Please?" The poor boy was begging now, big eyes staring into his sisters. She let out a deep sigh.

"I don't want to lose another one. But I can make one for Teeny." This made Harry beam, clapping his hands in excitement. "Not now though, need my nails to dry." That was enough for him.

Soon, Teeny had a yellow thread tied onto his wrist, the bright color selected by Harry.

"Gemma?" He asked, and she hummed telling him to continue. "Can you teach me the jump game?" Harry was referring to hopscotch. Remembering Gemma had been angry he couldn't play it, he wanted to learn.

The girl smiled. "Sure, Harry. Can it wait for a little though? There's a new episode of my show!" Harry agreed and stood from the floor. He said a quick goodbye and ventured off to find his mom. When he couldn't find her, he turned to his dad who was sat at the table, sorting through some papers. 

"Daddy, where did mommy go?" He asked, climbing on the chair across from the man. 

"She's gone grocery shopping. Should be back soon." Harry nodded at that, dropping his eyes to the papers on the table.

"What are those for?"

He sighed. "Work." 

"Daddy, why don't we go on bike rides?" The boy wanted to see if his father would take them on one. 

He looked up momentarily. "I don't know. Usually busy I suppose."

"Can we go on one soon?" Harry just sat there watching his dad, who continued looking through the forms. It took a little bit for him to answer this time. 

"I might have to go somewhere soon." Was his answer and Harry didn't understand. 

He sat up on his knees, pulling part of his body up on the table to look at the papers too. "Why?"

"Just a business trip." Harry's father said, setting the papers in a stack and pushing his chair out. 

The man never went on business trips in the summer. It was always when his workload was the smallest and had more time off. But lately, Harry had seen less of him, and when he was home he was still doing work or taking phone calls.

As he walked out of the room, Gemma walked in. "Hi, want to go learn now?" She pointed towards the door. Harry nodded and the two children slipped their shoes on, telling their father they'd be outside and walking out. 

It was sunny today. Not hot at all, but warm. Comfort in the air the young boy wished to stand in forever. The grass looked soft and without a second thought he slipped his shoes off, letting his socked feet hit the green. 

Gemma was busy redrawing the hopscotch board, giving Harry a few minutes to himself. He noticed a few flowers blooming nearby and went to get a closer look. He let the soft petals brush against the skin on his hands, the bright yellow color the most beautiful he'd seen. 

While looking at the flowers he heard a voice nearby. He thought it might be Gemma telling him he's done, but glancing over she was still numbering the boxes. Hearing it again he looked towards the fence lining the backyard. The two houses being arranged in such a way the other side of the fence was the other houses backyard. 

There was a boy, a little bit bigger than Harry, kicking around a soccer ball. He watched him for a few seconds before he heard his name. 

"Harry!" Gemma yelled from the pavement and Harry took a step closer, waiting for her to say something else. "Come on, I finished drawing it." Upon seeing the new boy, he had almost forgot he was waiting for her to finish. When he glanced back over the fence, the boy was gone.

"So, drop the pebble onto the square." He did as instructed, the rock bouncing a bit but staying in the lines. "Now jump over the square and land on one foot." He jumped, landing on the line a little bit and with two feet, quickly lifting one. Gemma let that slide. "Again, onto square three." Harry jumped again, landing the same. 

They continued playing for a while. Gemma teaching him all of the rules of when to land with both feet, when to skip a box, and when to pick up his rock. A little later Harry was finally getting the hang of it. Not needing the girl to coach him through when to jump anymore. 

When their mother got home, neither one noticed. It wasn't until they heard shouting they figured she must of though. 

"Just keep playing, Harry. Throw the rock here." She walked down and pointed to number three, he tossed it. It didn't quite land in, but Gemma used her foot to gently tap it into place. He hopped up to the four and five spots. 

Another scream

"Just ignore it, keep jumping." He stood in the place for a little longer, then taking her word and continuing. 

Both of them got tired soon, moving on to just drawing with chalk. Harry tried to draw the flowers he'd seen earlier, Gemma said it was a pretty drawing. Harry thought her drawing of a dog was much nicer though. 

He thought he felt something hit his arm but quickly brushed it off. Until he felt it again, this time seeing his t-shirt darken. A few more times and he registered it was raining. Gemma must have too.

It very quickly got heavier, both children's clothes soaked. They didn't care, so caught up in dancing in the water and the soggy grass, Harry didn't even notice he hadn't put his shoes back on. Socks getting wet and muddy. 

The back door opened up and Anne waved them over. Running up to the door and laughing as they slid and fell once inside. Des must have heard them. 

"You two are filthy! Look you've left dirt all over! Why would you stay out in the rain!" He yelled and the children just watched. A pit of fear growing in Harry's stomach. 

"They were just having fun." Anne defends, going to grab towels.

"Fun? Dragging dirt in isn't fun!" He then turned to Anne. "Why would you let your children play in the rain? What kind of mother are you!" Their father was screaming. 

"What kind of mother am I? You were here too you know. You could've told them to come in!" She retorted, pulling their dirty shoes and socks off and wrapping them in the towel. 

"You're their mother! That's your job!" He wasn't making any sense. He never did nowadays. Anne sent the two on their way, telling them to go change and warm up. They scrambled up the stairs, wanting to get as far away as possible. 

Harry and Gemma separated into their rooms to change. He pulled on a set of comfy pajamas, the sopping wet clothes he'd been wearing in a pile on the floor. Picking his favorite blanket off his bed he moved to his favorite place in the world, the window seat. 

The rain had let up now, only a small drizzle remaining. The sun was just setting. And although he could still hear his parents he felt safe in the arms of the stars. Nothing could hurt him after the sun set. 

He looked down momentarily, and under the porch lights, he saw the boy again. There was a woman sat beside him, and on the other side of the table, an older pair sat. He couldn't see them very closely, but by the way the boy threw his head back, he figured he was laughing. For once Harry found himself watching something other than the stars. He'd even forgotten his intention of sitting there. Watching him, even his parent's voices faded out.

Harry couldn't help but feel jealous. That boy sat and laughed with his family. Why didn't his family do that? 

He didn't miss the sound of a door slamming a few minutes later. 

For the first time in as long as Harry could remember, which granted wasn't that long, he didn't watch the stars that night. He watched something that shone much, much brighter.


End file.
